Crushed. The lengthy days at the mediocre job are consistent if anything. Consistent at draining the motivational fuel tank. I can say that the hardest part of being a writer and working full time (12 hour days) is getting home after a hard days work and kickstarting the brain into overload again. Must push on. Write until my fingers bleed. Ignore sleep. All are weapons of the small army of motivational soldiers in my mind battling the shadow, more rational side. Go to sleep, play a video game, sit your lazy ass on the couch and do nothing!
More often than not, the thought of quitting my job comes to mind so that I may focus on my writing, but at this moment in time that is not feasible. Pieces are being played to allow this, however. Focus, determination, strength of will. Remember that the dream is more real than the hollowness of a “secure” job.
“It never gets easier; you just get better!”
Oh, May the 4th be with you.